Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Love Letter #3

p writing poetry to J listening to Common when I'm really supposed to be packing for a move that is happening tomorrow.

"You're such a mush ball," I can here him say.

I smile as if I know a secret only he and I know. Because we do... This love we share isn't about occupation or wealth... its about mutual ambitions and ties to our families, our desire for unconditional love and the type of relationship we both wanted. I see something in him most people don't get to see. The way he does 8th grade Algebra homework while I make dinner and show my daughter martial arts moves. The way he gives my son game with the girls while going over Spanish homework with him. I love that despite that he hasn't found his lane yet, he'll sit and obsess over cable network news and has meaningful conversation with me about what's happening around the world in 30 days. I love that when he sees that I'm a bit more intense in the kitchen chopping vegetables with malice he'll.. slip up behind me and gently kiss my neck to make me smile.. because he knows, that the spot exactly 3 o'clock on my neckline is ticklish and that I can't possibly frown when his lips touch there.

I love that he adores my cooking so much that every night he kisses me and says thank you when I bring him a plate, and has finished it before I have a chance to bring him a glass of water. I watch as he turns off the TV and picks up a book to read... always looking to expand his mind at his leisure. I can't begin to imagine what my days are going to be like while he's not here with me. Trying to fill my days with other things so I won't dwell on it too much and break down in tears. Which isn't a difficult task looking around a partially unpacked room that still needs to be put away so I can have friends move us tomorrow. There I go... Us. That's all its been for the last 2 years. I pray, yes, I pray... that the universe sees fit that he heals as quickly as possible so I can stop sleeping on the sofa and return to our bed so I might be a happier woman.

So...
St. Michael if you're listening, watch over my soldier and keep him safe. Let his body rest and his heart return to its normal gait so he might remember, that the world, although a scary place... isn't as bad as it seems. May he remember that no cross is too big to bear... and that his shoulders are strong enough to lift the weight from his head. May he find the peace he seeks so that he will once again see that he IS the man I met and fell in love with.. that he hasn't lost his way. May he remember that hope is everlasting and there is nothing wrong with joy in your heart. May he remember that the biggest expectations he has are the ones he sets for himself... and that mistakes are easily overcome. I know love can't heal all wounds... but if it could, I'll easily give up the memory of true love to restore his faith in humanity.

Until we meet again,
Me.

Love Letter #1

Jada Stevens just stopped by. She and I smoked... I started missing you so I put on Common's Be album. I got higher than I've been in awhile.. probably because I've barely slept from worry about you and I haven't eaten since you've left and... well, my kitty misses her Daddy... because Common's voice is nice but.. honestly, yours is so much better. I... think to myself, it would be great if Jorge were here to.. make love to me amongst the boxes and packing tape.. for that.. one last time in our 1st bedroom and.. on the balcony because its late and we'll hand over the keys so fuck it. ;-)

"How beautiful love can be," - Common

I love the way you touch me late night
your kiss along my collarbone.
I love..
the way you whisper dirty things in my ear.
The way you...
grab my face to look in my eyes
while you dig deep into my heart.
I love the way you move me
throw me around like a rag doll.
Tell me...
things we both know we really mean
even though we act like we're just playing.
You...
make me feel as if the world has stopped
and nothing but you and I matter.
I...
want to be able to give you sons
since you've already given me moons.
I want to kiss your feet the way you
kiss my face.
I want you to
taste my tears while
I taste your love.

Fuck you.
I was trying not to miss you this much.
I was trying not to touch myself while you were away..
And yet here I am...
thinking..
that if I can't have you inside me tonight
that you won't mind if I touch myself
as long as I'm thinking of you...

So..
I think I will.
I hope that's okay with you.

Because I...

Miss..

your..

dick.

*blushes.*

I wish you understood just how much I love you.
I thought you knew.
I guess I'll have to remind you.
Here I am..
3,000 miles away
wishing you were home.
Not looking for someone else
faithful.
until you return.
Always.
In all ways.

Love Letter #2



Made it through the entire day without crying.
Now... alone in silence,
curled up with Curious Jorge on the sofa...
they come.
In droves.
Like spring rain.
Reminiscent of sitting on the restaurant balcony in Costa Rica
wishing you were here to share that moment.

Aching...
to see your face.
Wishing..
your lips were touching mind.
Knowing..
that it won't be long but crying anyway.

I never had any formal training
on how to love a mad man.
And yet...
if given the opportunity
I'll try.
Every day.
For all of our lives.
Get well soon.
I love you.

Goodnight Moon.
Keep him safe until he returns home to me.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Want to win a FREE autographed 8x10 or DVD?


I know I've been remiss in updating my blog, but I have an EXCELLENT reason this time... ;-) I recently joined the staff of http://TheWellVersed.com, a new lifestype and culture website! My new column, Life, Love and Sinn, an ode to my blog, was launched last Thursday and is doing quite well! I have big things planned, including some incredibly spotlight interviews with some amazing people to discuss the sexual politics around the world. My introductory article, An Assumption of Immorality, has so far been well received by readers and my editor @AndreasHale seems pretty happy with me and the direction I'd like to go in with my column & interviews. That is always a good thing!

I decided that to celebrate my new column, I'm going to do some do some giveaways! Email your Love, relationship or sex questions to me at AskSinnamon@gmail.com and if I answer your question on my column on The Well Versed I will send you an autographed 8X10 FREE! Each column, 1 lucky writer will also receive a FREE autographed DVD! :) Of course you MUST be over 18 years of age and able to receive semi-nude or nude photos and/or pornographic material in your area in order to win these prizes!

Looking forward to all your questions!

love, Sinn

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Bumps, Bruises and Beauty Along The Way

Its been an amazing year so far. Many of you may not be aware, but while I am still very active in the adult video industry, I decided to focus on other aspects of my career this year, mainly my writing, touring with The Punany Poets & guest lecturing at colleges. I'm certainly not retiring anytime soon, but I certainly and happy to have some of the opportunities I have had as I change directions in my career.

On May 14th, I had a speaking engagement at Orange Coast College in Costa Mesa, CA as a guest lecturer. I appeared before a Human Sexuality class of 200+ students to speak about my life and career as a sex worker including my 16 years as an adult film star, fetish model, professional Dominatrix and escort. I presented an array of photos & video clips from throughout my career and discussed the varied facets of my life including maintaining intimate and familial relationships and delving deep into conversations about the fetish and BDSM industry. I also showed the students a recent anti-piracy PSA that I participated in with lots of other top names in the business including Ron Jeremy, Wicked Girls Kaylani Lei and Alectra Blue, Charlie Laine, Kimberly Kane, Joanna Angel and many, many others. The lecture was well received and I was able to share the lecture live via UStream with fans that wanted to peek in on what topics I cover on a college campus.

Earlier this week I did a phone interview with Lanie Spiezer, a writer for Penthouse who has written a couple of books and is working on her 3rd. This new coffee table book is titled, "100 Porn Star Confessions," (Quiver Books,) and features profiles, interviews, sex tips & photos on 100 top adult stars. I was thrilled to be a part of this project! I adore appearing in sexy mainstream projects - especially books that appear in outlets like Barnes and Noble. In the past I have appeared in photos in Christine Kessler's book "Pervy Girls" (Goliath Books,) and there was an entire chapter written about my life and career in Lawrence Ross' "Money Shot" (Running Press.) Last year some of my poetry was published in David Henry Sterry's anthology "Ho's Hookers, Call Girls and Rent Boys," (Soft Skull Press.)


"Click here to purchase a copy of Money Shot"



"Click here to purchase a copy of Ho's, Hookers, Call Girls & Rent Boys"


Having my writing published certainly isn't new to me... for years I wrote for print magazines such as the now defunct Black Mystique and the Hip-Hop/ Porn Publication Fish N' Grits. I also conducted interviews for Mainstream Hip Hop website HipHopDX.com with Phonte' from Little Brother & Dilated Peoples. I must admit however, receiving a hard copy of a published book is something else. I remember in the 5th grade, our end of the year English project was to co-author a story with a partner and illustrate it. Our finished projects were bound and laminated and placed in the school library. That first taste of blood was all it took to get me hooked and want to see more of my writing in print.

My only real resolution this year was to truly focus more on my writing. I have been hastily trying to complete my book on Relationships with Sex Workers titled, "How to Love a Whore." With a bit more research to go, I am hoping to complete it by the summer. I am also working on a separate project on Sex Work & Parenting. I have submitted an abstract to offer a seminar on the topic at the Scarlet Alliance Sex Worker Conference in Sydney, Australia in November, 2010. Much of the research I am doing at present has not never really been pursued before... so the writing is taking longer than previously thought as I want to not only pull from my own experiences but the experiences of other as well, both good and bad.

Yesterday's panel at UCSB was presented by the Feminist Studies Dept., The Women's Studies Department and The Film Studies Department. The panel was titled, "Race and Desire: Black Actors in Adult Film," and featured myself, Vanessa Blue and Tyler Knight. We discussed everything from fetish and BDSM in ethnic themed videos to White female performers that "don't do interracial scenes with Black males" or charge a higher fee for it. We answered questions about how we navigate the adult industry within the confines of discretionary racism to how I respond to feminists that question the image of the female submissive in BDSM. The talk was not only amazing but my conversation with a Doctoral student in religious studies who did his Master's at Harvard regarding how he discusses sex and sexuality within marriage with parishioners and those he counsels.

The absolute best part of the entire trip was dinner after at this wonderful bistro. A glass of Malbec and a honey glazed duck with a chambord sauce and I found myself deep in conversations about Octavia Butler's Wild Seed, Sexual Identity vs. Sexual Preference and Singular pronouns for GenderQueer people that prefer the terms "they/ their" over "He" or "She." I love intelligent, stimulating conversation. I left the dinner feeling inspired and anxious to finish my research and my book.

This week's appearances will be rounded out with a live stage appearance with The Punany Poets right here in Los Angeles. We will perform at a small theater in the NOHO Arts District of the San Fernando Valley. I love doing these cabaret style shows. The way we sling our erotic poetry and sex education in scantily clad outfits and verbal orgies on stage with our audience members... it is truly charged and enticing. I truly enjoy giving lap dances in a room full of watchful eyes, the volunteers always blush then get completely into it. We always introduce a sober moment in the show where I discuss HIV statistics in urban communities and test a volunteer from the audience using the OraQuick HIV test, (the only FDA approved oral swab for HIV,) to show how easy it is to not only get tested, but to have the conversation with a partner about getting tested. I have been working with The Know Now Organization, a mobile HIV testing company that can come to your home, hotel or place of business and test you and your partner, for a couple of years now. I've attended swinger's events and porn conventions with the group, spreading the message of the importance of HIV testing. Being asked to join the cast of the Punany Poets was such a nature fit for me. I would be able to perform my poetry, interact with my fans on stage and spread the message of safer sex practices and some kinky sex tips along the way.

So far this year, I have performed with The Punany Poets on Stage in Miami, DC, Detroit and even performing 2 shows off Broadway in NYC. I love being on stage in front of a large group of people. What few people know is that during high school I was cast as the wood nymph Phoebe in Shakespeare's "As You Like It," and actually won 2nd place in a Shakesperean Festival at Cal Poly Pomona for the role. I continued to act for a short period of time through college, but it was never my passion. I did however LOVE performing in oratorical competitions. The first time I performed "Phenomenal Woman," by Maya Angelou in front of a crowd of people, I felt the rush. I never experienced that feeling again until the first time I stepped on stage in Miami with The Punany Poets for the first time. The theater we performed in was huge... and our sold out crowd was so supportive. I overcame my nervous energy and pushed forward and received a standing ovation at the end of the show. I felt SO good when it was over... I've been getting paid for doing something I love for 17 years now... and this was a perfect transition in my life.

I love the way this year is playing out. There have been bumps along the way but overall, the first half of the year has been, overall, just right. :)

One of those little bumps is my old car deciding to finally take a shit. Yesterday something to do with the crank shaft blew a hole in my engine. So yeah... time to buy a new car. But considering all the positives in my life right now, I can be without a car for a few days. :)

Sinn

Monday, February 8, 2010

Blog 354: 2009 DVD Inventory Clearance Sale!

Not to sound like a used car salesman, but I have SO much inventory left over from 2009 that I really need to make way for new merch! As a result, I am selling off my DVDs for only $20 and BluRays for $40 plus shipping and handling! Shipping will be and additional $10 for up to 2 DVDs.

*You MUST be over the age of 18 & must be prepared to email me a scanned copy of your state ID or Driver's License. Payment will be via Paypal to sinnamon.love@gmail.com as a GIFT not for a product or service due to their disdain for adult products.

Thanks!
Sinnamon Love


Phatty Girls 6 - A classic scene with myself & Justin Slayer (3 DVD copies available!)




Dymes #5 - a hot & dirty scene with myself, Tyler Knight & Ms. Goddess (3 DVD copies available!)




America's Got Ass - A great interracial boy/girl/girl scene with lots of anal & ass licking! (2 DVD copies available!)




Chocolate MILF (5 DVD copies available!)




Bootyful View - My first encounter with sexy Black Frenchman Jean Claude Batiste (13 DVD copies available)




Desperate Blackwives 4 (6 DVD copies available!)




Chocolate MILF 3 (BluRay Only - 3 copies available)




Sista 25 (3 BluRays & 3 DVDs available!)




Chemistry 4 (6 DVD copies available)




Big Black Creamy Tits 3 (5 DVD copies available)


Check back shortly for Magazines and Fetish Videos for sale!!!

X's & O's,
Sinnamon Love