Love Letter #10

smh.

my heart just breaks in silence.
patience has never been my friend.
i'm hurting and no one understands why.
love is the hardest mountain to climb.
in his absence
my heart acts as though its forgotten how to pump blood
and my lungs deflate from lack of air.
i try...
but can't seem to catch my breath.
i fill my minutes with busy work
so the devil can't take my hands
but all i seem to think of
is counting the seconds
until he holds me tightly in his arms
and kisses away the tears
that streak my face like war paint.
i wish he could understand
the pain his absence brings
the heartache that i endure
just listening to his sweet words
on the other end of the phone line.
i long for the look in his eyes
that tell me i'm the only woman
that's ever loved him
the way that he loved them back.
i miss the way he laughs
and holds me when i'm lost
and brings me back to life
when illness has taken me down.
he encourages a part of me
that no one ever has.
and i miss that...
more than anything...
right now.